The Art of Consolidation

Brooklyn, NYC

I checked out of the Dream Team retreat and made my way to Brooklyn for the second leg of my NYC trip. Remember the Jamaican friend I hosted in Trinidad? He has a spot in Brooklyn and invited me to stay while he traveled elsewhere. Peep the closed-network Airbnb and the cycle of hosting that my friends and I are establishing so we can all live our dream lives. Even though his place wasn’t home, I felt a big sigh of relief to be in a space that’s just for me, where I can sleep and settle into the routine that keeps me balanced 25/8.

Regardless of how much of a socialite I am, I equally enjoy spending time by myself. I love taking myself out to eat at restaurants, and solo travel is still my absolute favorite way to see the world. I can’t wait to see what place solo travel takes in my life once I start traveling with my husband and then husband and kids. Whether it remains my #1 favorite or becomes my #2, or #3 I just know it will forever be a staple in my life.

Wondering what my recovery looks like? It begins with a solid 7+ hours of sleep and a natural wake-up, no alarms, nothing to rush to. After a leisurely shower, I casually strolled 45 minutes to Orangetheory Fitness, listening to my sermon of the day. At OTF, I went all out on the treadmill, lifted some weights, and finished the smartest one-hour workout that leaves you feeling unconquerable. I was excited to see a Club Pilates next door—a signal that owning a property within a 45-minute walk of this area is indeed a prime investment and very much my cup of tea. On my walk back to the crib, I caught up with my lovely sister, Denkenesh, about her mission trip in Jamaica. Speaking with her is always refreshing; she pours prayers and encouragement into you. It was a perfect Monday morning.

With a morning like that, I was able to work happily and give my best effort to the man. Around 6 pm, I decided to treat myself to some ramen—another pick-me-up in my arsenal for getting back in balance. I went to Ichiran in Manhattan; I’d been to their original Brooklyn location before, so I was looking forward to experiencing this new spot, knowing the quality would be the same since the Japanese are great at consistency. While waiting in line, I people-watched and took in the city. I shamelessly eavesdropped on the Japanese couple in front of me, chalking it up to my childlike crush on Japanese fashion and mannerisms. In Tokyo, I even tried adding Japanese clothes to my closet, but I just couldn’t pull it off, so I’m relegated to being a lifelong admirer of the hip Japanese aesthetic instead.

It was a classic ramen shop, so ordering wasn’t rocket science. I got the tonkotsu ramen with the magic red sauce and, feeling frisky, ordered the matcha pudding, which was a worthwhile experiment. When I eat ramen, I must have chashu and soft-boiled eggs, so I ordered those on the side. The Hakata-style ramen favors minimal toppings to let the broth and noodles shine. Ichiran is a perfect spot for a solo date since its entire concept with individual dining booths is designed for undisturbed dining.

Thinking ahead to lunch the next day, I stopped by Soothr to pick up their crab fried rice and curry shrimp to go. Moments like this make future me so proud of past me because lunch the next day was Michelin-star dining in the comfort of my home.

During the latter part of my summer in Trinidad, I developed a lovely morning habit: making breakfast (scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, tea) and sitting outside on my porch to do my morning devotion, savoring a slow start to the day. I continued this habit in Brooklyn and was rewarded in my soul with peace and balance.

My friend finally came back home and spoiled me further by cooking lunch for me 🥹.

That night was my last in the city, so I planned the ultimate ‘pop-in if you’re available’ event. I invited all my friends in NYC to mini golf at Swingers and was even kind enough to drop it on everyone’s calendar two weeks in advance—after all, we’re adults, and spontaneity is limited. In case you were wondering, this is what Latifah meant by, ‘Whitney likes to consolidate.’ It’s true, but what else could I do when I know so many people in NYC who want to catch up, yet I have minimal time and energy?

As I build my community while being a prolific traveler, I’ve come to reserve my in-person time and energy for vibes, with more intimate catch-ups saved for online, extended stays of at least a month, or hosting each other. If I have four days in a city, I’m going to do me, and I’ll catch you at an event I genuinely want to go to and that I know is right up your alley too, or at a mixer where you can meet other high quality, local people I know who can become a great friend to you. I really do stand by my choice to avoid running around for one-on-one meetups in every city, catching up with one person after another—my energy and time is truly limited, and I’ve learned that when I place the effort on others to show up, it isn’t always a priority. So, deuces! I’ll continue to vibe in person with those who show up and catch up online with those who bring good energy, clear intentions, genuine care, and reciprocal effort.

I really am too mixy for my own good, but that’s okay. I’ve accepted who I am and am learning to be kind to myself while staying true to what I love. I’m social; I love people. I maintain friendships over time and distance, and I’m always meeting new people. The maths don't always work but we here.

Everyone I know is cool in their own way. Most people I know can vibe, and they can definitely carry a conversation.

People call me the ultimate connector, and it’s true. My natural tendency is to see people and their needs or interests and connect them with others who share those interests, who can help them get to the next step, or who they can help. That’s community—gravitating toward what you need in a season and continuously pouring into each other.

I’ve done this professionally, helping people get jobs, find the right teams, build startup teams, and more. But now, I’m excited to do it socially—for joy, for connection beyond the work we do. Because the work we do isn’t our identity; it’s not everything. In fact, it’s nothing. At best, it’s a curiosity you just neeeeeeed to see through, an itch you have to scratch.

So yeah, having about 12 random people hanging at Swingers was a vibe—a superb consolidation of everyone I wanted to say hi to. Maurice, a mentee since 2020 whom I had never met in person, was a pleasant surprise; he’s really goofy and hilarious. He reminds me of Peter Pan. NYC is definitely coming for him in a serving 'immaculate life experience' kind of way.

Most importantly, there was no internal friction with me ‘hosting,’ and I was able to have quick 1:1 interactions with everyone, catching the TL;DR on what’s important to them now and what they’re doing for fun. Our conversations marked a big shift from being tied to work, tech, or startups; instead, they centered on the exploration of joy and a well-lived life. And golf was a fun activity—a refreshing change from the usual dinner or drinks.

Regardless of my need to consolidate—because I’m mixy as hell and still need balance in my life—I understand that people are people, and they can’t be compartmentalized. So if I’ve been a less than great friend, I’m sorry, but you know, my hands are tied at the moment.

That night, I wore a dress that required ironing. It was the second time that week I’d ironed after not touching an iron since graduating high school in 2015. While trying not to burn my dress, I vowed to myself that it was time to optimize getting ironing out of my life again... and still look cute. Unfortunately, all the cute clothes seem to require ironing, but I’m not about to be the one doing it. My mom was so shocked I ironed that she credited this miracle to Latifah’s influence on me 🤣.

The next morning, I felt awful from all the drinks at Swingers. Casual drinking really makes no sense, and I blame the mini hangover for the bad decisions that followed. I ended up changing my flight because I wouldn’t have made it in time, and then got stuck overnight in Charlotte because I foolishly thought chasing ramen right before my flight was a great idea. I definitely add chaos to my life by creating slim windows to fit everything in. Did I really have to have ramen? Yes. It would have been worth it if it was a superb ramen, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. My Jamaican friend convinced me to try a ‘closer’ Ippudo, Ippudo V, which turned out to be a vegan Ippudo (seriously?!?), so we ended up at a random hole-in-the-wall ramen shop that was mediocre at best. While waiting for my ramen, I canceled my flight and booked the next one out because, well, my day had gone to ramen instead of leaving NYC.

Anywho, that adventure led me to appreciate the architecture of Olympia Dumbo, where the developer sacrificed packing in as many units as possible for the sake of design. It’s a great example of when art can indeed come first and money second. The washed-up actor in The Menu should have had this revelation—he probably wouldn’t have ended up on the menu himself. Other great examples of this philosophy are the excellence Beyoncé and Machel Montano strive for in their art. I’m not saying they don’t chase money, but I am saying they chase quality art first.

Also, supposedly, every 1 in 5 people in NYC is a millionaire—a statistic that most people in the city can’t confirm through experience. I guess the other 4 out of 5 end up hanging with each other, never getting a chance to meet that elusive millionaire.

I’ll leave you with my last random thought from this trip: "Flying through clouds is cute until it’s not." Oh, and I also learned there’s an orange light in the front of some planes that indicates when WiFi is available.